Don’t cheat. Having sex with everything with legs and DDs may be our biological imperative, but if there is one rule you need to observe about this game it’s this one. You cannot cheat. If you think the two don’t mix, you’re doing it wrong.

Simply, you don’t have to cheat. Be honest with chicks. Let them know you’re not looking for something serious. Own your inner alpha male. Don’t be an asshole about it — when you’re with a chick, be attentive, be “in the moment,” but make clear that you’re not committing to anything. Keep girls in rotation to make sure you’re not spending too much time with anyone of them.

I avoid instant messaging and long text conversations. These things can breed a sort of intimacy that confuses the message, but you can do whatever you want. As long as you’re up front about the fact that you’re just having fun and putting enough space between the nights you hook up, you’re fine.

If she has a problem with that, you can remind her how lucky she is by forwarding this article to her.

Nothing like a heartwrencher about a chick who accepted a date from a Facebook friend only to discover that the guy she was picking up was using her as the getaway car in a robbery. I shit you not, man.

Anonymous asked: My sights were set: this cute, busty girl was coming home to the Glen pen! I walk up to her, introduce myself, and go in for a hug. She reluctantly hugs me back and that’s when I feel it, the smoosh you feel of big tits against your chest. I hug nice and tight so I can feel those nugs squishing up against my chest. SMACK! Her fist cracks me in the jaw. “You fucking pig!” she says. I regain my sense after a moment and realize I have a raging boner trying to claw its way through my pants.

Johnny answers: If the first rule is not to be intimidated by hot chicks, the second is not to let them turn you on so much. You don’t want to pop a boner right then and there. Sure, you want to score. And they know you want to score. The trick man is to coax them into it. You have to navigate your way there. You can’t just rub up on them and press the destination into their thigh with no previous warning. It’s not cool. 

I’m 33 and what I’d call handsome in an offbeat kind of a way. I’m a successful screenwriter and I live in the Hollywood Hills in a big beautiful home with an edge pool that I designed myself. This girl I went out with is quite attractive, 5’7”, blonde hair, blue eyes, flawless skin, slender — maybe 110 pounds yet nicely curved — very intelligent, and resembles Kim Basinger, or maybe her younger sister, if she has one. She is in her mid 30’s and has never been married. She lives near me in the same neighborhood.

I did everything according to “The System” — I was the quintessential well-mannered, well-dressed and polite gentleman. I met her at a party and waited over a week to call her. The first date was a weeknight walk in the park and a meal at an inexpensive restaurant with great atmosphere near the ocean. I have a new Lexus, but picked her up in my older but clean Ford F-150 pickup truck instead.

Seven days later I arranged for supper at a Mexican restaurant and then a movie at the dollar cinema. I paid for everything. I tore up her phone number when she refused to kiss me after that second date. Buddies of mine who had seen her said I was completely nuts for getting rid of her. I got ragged on so badly that I relented and looked her up in the phone book to call again except I waited a full month to call her. I figured that if I was a super Challenge, she might possibly crack.

I suggested that we meet at the free jazz concerts at the city amphitheater for a brown bag supper and great music. She refused, saying she didn’t like “jazz.” That was two weeks ago.

Let’s pretend that the odds of looking up a chick in L.A. and finding her in a phone book aren’t completely nonexistent for a moment and focus on what’s going on here. This guy read The System, a book written by AskMen’s Doc Love about how to score with a chick for pennies on the dollar; he tried it out on a top-notch babe and it didn’t work. 

Why didn’t it work? Because it goes against the biology of women. Every female of every species on this planet selects a mate based on the resources he has at his disposal. The more desirable the female, the more selective she can be in terms of her mate, and the more resources the male needs to have in order to get her attention. This is simple biology. 

I can see how a book with suggestions for cheap dates may work for some guys given the state of the economy, but Jesus Christ. Reading over this kid’s gloating about how little he paid for everything paints him like a sadist, not a player. And to write in to Doc Love for a high five afterward like a giddy little kid on Christmas morning? That shit makes me sick.

I don’t know what guys like Doc Love are trying to achieve for men, but I’ll tell you this much: it’s not going to get you pussy.

You on one of those dating sites? Sweet, log in. Do a search. Check out the options in your area.

If you’re not on one of these sites, get on now. These sites are great tools to learn about women and the games they play. Look at this shit. “I love wine tastings, I’m a foodie, I love to travel.” Blah, blah, blah. This shit makes me sick. “Wine tasting”? She likes to get fucked up. “Foodie.” That means you take her out to dinner. “Travel”? Do you think she’s paying for these vacations?

Take a close look at all the photos. Do you notice anything? How many are full-body shots? Why do women take pictures from high angles? To hide their bellies under their tits. Why do women wear baby doll dresses? To hide their fat asses. All these pictures are trying to trick you in some way. The personal ad is a great way to understand the true nature of women: TRICKSTER.

You’re beginning to get an idea of how deceitful the average girl is. But we don’t care about the average girls. I want you to separate all the hotties. That’s who we need to focus on from now on. That’s what men are designed to do: get with attractive women.

All right. Look at what they’re saying: “No players. If you’re looking for a hook-up, move along, mister.” So why is she standing in front of a Ferrari with her tits out? To get you all riled up, that’s why. “I’m looking for a guy who’s kind, loyal, spiritual, caring and ambitious.” Ambitious? She’s playing with her nipples. Doesn’t really fit, right? Yes it does. Ambitious is very similar to another word you will see all the time in the profiles of hot chicks: GENEROUS. The women we’re after are money-grubbin hos.

You can’t be generous if you don’t have cash. Don’t get worked up. You don’t actually have to be rich, you just have to look rich. We’ll get to that. For now, let it sink in. This game is all about the trade off. Your job is to get the most out of the situation for as little as possible.